The first misstep cashback forexto the future best forex copy trading was born in a rural family, grew up living in a poor family, as a child, living conditions are not good, the biggest wish is to be able to eat white bread, howtocopyforextrading rich children can have new clothes to wear but parents are honest farmers, no ability to do this for me, they work hard all day, barely able to our basic life, can Maintain our school has been very difficult! So the pursuit of wealth in forextradingsignal mind and heart has made a deep imprint! I grew up with excellent academic performance, after graduating from college I was assigned to work for the authorities, finally ate the so-called imperial food to start a few years, the work is more outstanding, the leadership is also more valued, and gradually arranged for important positions but after all, it is a commodity economy society, coupled with their so-called noble pride, did not timely to the leadership on the face, the unit three promotions are not mentioned I and my six at the same time was assigned in Students, and those who are usually not very conspicuous but because of the relationship have been promoted in turn reuse gradually, I lost confidence in my future in the authorities, but also on the fairness of the authorities lost confidence! So I began to think about how to make a living after work! In 2001 I contacted the stock market, it was a chance, I heard that stocks can make a fortune, and do not have to send gifts and so on! The first time I entered the stock exchange hall was in October 2000, when the stock was still around 2000 points (I cant remember in detail), the hall was crowded at that time, we are still in a crazy state I guess they are the same as me, fantasizing that they can become millionaires in it before coming here stocks and futures are the same, the first up will give the newcomers a little sweet I am no exception, I just I just put in 10,000 yuan, came up to earn a few hundred dollars, I was very excited, feel like a stock genius so I spent the weekend soaking in the stock book, K-line theory, wave theory, Bollinger Channel and so on after reading a large number of books, feel their chances of winning greater, so encouraged his wife to continue to starve the family 50,000 yuan all into the stock market results are unfortunate, I bought a stock suspended for six months The result is that I bought a stock suspended for half a year, and as a result there are more than 10,000 funds available in hand, all day chasing up and down as we all remember, 2200 points was a big top at the time, I escaped at 1800 points, my suspended stock also fell a lot after the opening, in October 2001 I escaped with only a little more than 20,000 funds in hand, my dream of getting rich in stocks was completely destroyed after exiting the stock market, I began to spend all day In December, I suddenly received a phone call from the manager of the trading department where I was trading stocks, and he told me that he had discovered a new trading method called futures, which could be bought and sold on the same day and belonged to the T+0 trading, mainly trading the soybeans and wheat varieties that we were familiar with. He told me I could come and try it out. I had no idea about futures at that time, and I didnt know what futures were. With curiosity, I went to his place and opened a futures account by the way, but I didnt put money into trading right away. After I opened the account, I was not interested in futures, after all, I knew nothing about them, so I didnt take it as a matter of fact. After about a week, the manager called again and asked me if I had done it. I remember that at that time it was a 100,000 demo trading account, I bought a few lots of gum full of positions and forgot about it, after a few days, I opened my account and found that I had made hundreds of thousands of dollars and my demo results had entered the top five of the demo ranking which made me very excited and felt that futures was a profitable market! I went home and repeatedly considered for a long time that futures were a channel to invest in so I put all of the 20,000 or so left over from the stock into the futures account and started trading live! At first, because of the futures do not know, so do not know what the so-called risk control, basically are full positions trading fees are also very high, small buy 10 yuan a hand, soybeans 2 yuan a hand, gum 60 yuan a hand futures is a game for gamblers to play, especially suitable for gambling hidden big gamblers, once you get involved in it, you will not be able to control themselves I trade wheat and soybeans every day, always keep an eye on the computer The daily trading pattern is to chase the ups and downs because of the stock losses have been hidden from the wife, so futures trading is also more afraid! Im afraid that the 20,000 funds will not come back! The first time I started up, I did more soybeans, soon earned 2,000 yuan, then sold before and after the half-hour time, feeling really cool! This makes me very excited, self-confidence is back! Who knows that the next day, the opening of a surprisingly fast stop, I regretted it regretted that I sold so early, otherwise it will earn a lot more so I was in front of the stop plate full position to kill who thought, after about less than an hour, the storm clouds suddenly changed, soybeans from the stop plate under the fly, from up dozens of points in the blink of an eye fast stop, I was terrified, hurriedly before the stop all closed and backhanded to do a short single I feel that there may be What bearish news came more unexpectedly, 5 minutes before the close, the plate and pulled back, and closed a long hammerhead negative my short single set in the inside close to 40 points, at this time I have been numb without closing positions, I can only pray tomorrow the next day, a high opening of more than 40 points, I took stock of the account funds, there are more than 6,000 pieces! Yesterday the dealer a ferocious washout, washed away 60% of my funds the rest of the day, I used the 6,000 yuan to do the day short term trading, sometimes a day to do a dozen round trips finally in April 2002, my capital loss of only 3,000 yuan at this time is daring on the daughter to be born, I took out the remaining 3,000 yuan so I had no choice but to temporarily exit the futures market after the birth of my daughter. The money of the congratulation of relatives in addition to the wedding wine left close to 20,000, I once again began to stir I began to plan how to take 20,000 to turn the capital! I was thinking about how to convince my wife to give me the 20,000 yuan, one day my wife suddenly said to me, than to go to the bank to deposit the money inside it, it is not safe to put at home, but definitely not into the stock market inside I listened to this word a shock: she did not know that I lost money in stocks? I have always said to her is not a loss how she found? But at the same time the heart is also very happy, after all, there is a chance to turn the capital! At the same time another problem arose, how can I keep her from finding out that I have misappropriated the money? I thought of a card and a fold deposit way so I rushed to the bank, immediately for a card and a fold deposit, back home after the passbook to the wife, then I do not know where she hid the passbook to go, in fact, after the passbook to her hands, there is no money, is an empty paper! May Day holiday was a pleasant, let people get a full rest holiday but this May Day for me is gray, I study all day masters of the trading concept and a variety of market trends, but also look forward to May 8 early arrival May 8 finally arrived, the opening of the I came to the unit early in the morning, after attending roll call and unit leaders took a leave of absence, rushed to the trading department, at the same time to the fastest The speed of the transfer procedures, ran to the screen to start a day of trading I fully studied the market trend of soybeans during the holiday, that soybeans overall is up, should buy at the low point of the strategy plate in accordance with the expected buying opportunities, I bought a full position, after I bought the price of the day hand plate than my buy point 15 points higher, I am determined to stay in the position overnight, bet a! The next day, soybeans jumped lower and went all the way down! I began to waver a bit on my trend judgment, was I wrong? But I still insisted on it, and was forced to close the 2-hand position the third day, soybeans continue to decline, I completely desperate, it turned out that I was wrong analysis I all closed out the long, and established a short single because of the trend, is the best policy who knows, soybeans in the opening days after the decline began a few days of pulling up my short single in the loss of more than 100 points after being forced to cut positions, my psychology has really can not afford it ( The specific point I can not remember) I regret, regret that they did not stick to their own judgment of the general trend, regret why because of a small decline in their judgment to change how to do it? I took stock of the funds in the plate, there are more than 8,000 pieces of my lonely throw, in 2450 full position opened a single I in order not to be disturbed by the plate shock, I simply do not come to the trading department to see the plate at the same time coincidentally, the unit has something, I did not go to see the plate for a few days after about four days, I received a call from the trading department manager, said to forcibly close the position! I rushed to the exchange to see, soybeans in my buy after a drop of about 80 points, I am finished again I closed the position after the account there are more than 4,000 I did a few short term transactions that day on the computer to go home at this time the mood is indescribable, this night, I was drunk that night I drank too much, home after my wife poured me a glass of water, she asked me what happened? I did not pay attention to her! The mood at this time is indescribable, this failure to make my confidence in themselves suffered a big blow I began to doubt their own ability! The following days, I worked every day in the unit, not in the mood to see the futures! After about 10 days of playing cards and drinking with my colleagues, I gradually came out of the shadow of my last failure and sometimes started to open the computer again and pay attention to the market situation during my visit to the trading department, the manager of the trading department saw my expression a little unnatural I guess he was not too comfortable in his heart because he introduced me to this cruel market! I was wandering alone on the street and saw an old man on the side of the road, selling watermelons, and a watermelon buyer was bargaining with him I laughed helplessly at myself, thinking about how I am not, sometimes for a few cents and the vegetable sellers face, and in the futures but a throw of money! I saw the old man and suddenly remembered my parents, yes, its been a long time since I went home to see my parents I took out 1000 yuan from my account, went to the market to buy two fish, a chicken tower on the bus back home my home in the town below, about 40 minutes away from my home in the county I returned home as soon as I entered the door, I saw my parents, I almost came to tears I felt that my parents have grown old again A lot, hey! They do not want to eat or wear, save money is not enough for me to spoil the nine cows a hair! My mother was very happy to see me, asked me about the children and units for a while and went to cook dinner is eating, the neighbors aunt heard that I came back, came to see me and during her conversation, I suddenly had an idea, because her family is a business, very rich, and my family relationship is also very good, why not ask her to borrow a little? I asked in passing when she left my door: Auntie, you have money to lend me? She stopped and asked me: How much do you need? I said: about 100,000, I and a friend to do business with! About half a year she went home, after a while my third uncle and aunt followed over, he took out a passbook to me, said: there are about 100,000 a little more, you take it first, usually we do not use, to the Mid-Autumn Festival back to me before! I took the passbook, do not know what to say after a while, I said: I reached a debit to you it! He said: No, we are relatives, no need! But I still insisted on playing an IOU, and finally I wrote an IOU to him. I carefully put the bankbook away, said a few words to my parents, gave them 800 yuan, and hurriedly stepped on the bus back to the county! After returning home, I did not tell my wife that I borrowed 100,000 yuan from my aunt back home I was afraid she would say something in front of my parents! I thought, if she found out, I would say I borrowed it for a friend! The next day, I came to the trading department and called on the manager of the trading department to go and get the money with me! Because the bankbook my aunt gave me was from the Agricultural Bank, and my futures account bank was from ICBC! After about an hour or so, everything was done and I had an extra 100,000 dollars in my account! Im back on my feet again! With this 100,000 yuan, I started my own dream of getting rich again want to regain confidence in their dreams of getting rich! Because this 100,000 yuan is not their own, so this operation is extra careful, I have been waiting for the opportunity during the period I have been concerned about the sky rubber September, to August 5, the sky rubber has risen more than 1,000 points, the price has been far from the average I have been waiting for the opportunity to empty the sky rubber August 6, after the opening of the sky rubber continue to rise, the highest rush to 11695 points, after the rush high weakness, began to fall back I feel that the opportunity has come, so in 11650 points near the empty 15 hands of gum September, the account there are close to 20,000 reserve, almost open 80% of the position gum in accordance with expectations began to fall, the lowest to 11450 points, closing 11475 points after the closing I counted the following account funds, floating profit of more than 10,000 pieces I was incredibly excited! As long as the rubber fell a few hundred points, my previous losses will be back! I left the trading department very late after the close, and returned to the unit, about a few buddies, my treat, in a beautiful drink together! The next day, because the unit has nothing to do! I and went directly to the trading department, waiting for the opening! 9:00 after the opening, my two eyes glued to the computer screen, the day gum September opening 11520, after the opening of the rapid fall, the lowest to 11420 near, my heart relaxed a lot! In order not to be disturbed by the changes in the plate, I turned the screen off and went to the United World to play three games of chess After playing chess, I opened the trading interface, I was dumbfounded!!! The plate turned straight up, already close to the stop! My head, a buzz! Immediately I regained my senses, I thought of the past several soybean trading, this time I must stabilize, good account capital loss is not too large, and there are close to 20,000 reserve, so I simply did not close the position! The day the gum rose and closed at 11925 up! After the closing, I did not leave immediately, searching the Internet for comments on the various futures companies on the gum, while searching around the Internet for bearish news on the gum! By 5pm, the trading department was about to close before I left! When I got home, my wife noticed that I didnt look right and asked me what was wrong. I said nothing is wrong, just not feeling well! I went to bed at night and had a dream that the next day the gum flew straight down and sealed to a stop on the next day, I did not go to the unit, I called and asked for a leave of absence from the leadership, saying I was sick and rested at home! In fact, before 8:00 I had already hoofed it to the trading department to sit next to the computer waiting for the opening of the gum! From 8:00 to 9:00 this hour is particularly unbearable, I have never felt the harmony of a long hour! After the opening of the market, the gum opened at 12030 and continued to rise, I was depressed, in the end to close the position or not? I opened my account and calculated that I had lost close to 40,000 in funds and close to 20,000 in reserves! I ruthlessly, hold on for another day! Lets see what happens tomorrow! The highest rubber rush to 12400, closing to 12300 from the highest point! I began to analyze todays K-line trend! Is todays upper shadow line means that the short-term rubber has reached the top? August 11, I came to the trading department early in the morning, as soon as I entered the door, the trading manager came to me and told me that the exchange informed me to close my position! Otherwise, it will be forced to close! I told him I knew! The market opened and the gum jumped high again! I was almost desperate!!! I was silently praying that God would help me!!! After half an hour, the trading manager found me again and told me to close my position immediately! I had no choice but to close 5 lots of positions! The good thing is that todays upward trend is not too big, my heart is in a complicated struggle, should I cut the position out of the game?? I warned myself that I must be patient and hold on a little longer! In the evening a friend got married and drank wedding wine, I was moping at the table! Only a few cups of wine sentence feel drunk! A good friend of mine asked me whats wrong? Nothing is wrong, right? I forced a smile, said nothing, not feeling well! August 12 early in the morning, I received a call from the unit leader, told me to go to the countryside I want to take time off, but did not say! Before going to the countryside I made a phone call to the trading department, told the manager to help me watch the plate, what changes to notify me! I was completely desperate and I told him to help me close my position immediately! As it was rising very fast, he helped me close it all around 12720! I didnt dare ask him how much money was left in his account! When I returned from the countryside in the afternoon, I rushed to the trading department and opened my computer to enter my account to see that there was still more than 30,000 yuan in my account! I felt a black eye, but did not fall down! I turned off the computer and staggered out of the trading department!!!! The third first glimpse of the dawn after suffering several failures, let me experience the cruelty of the futures market! I also slowly have a preliminary understanding of futures, for futures risk awareness is also gradually established! In the month after that, I almost take intraday short term trading as the main focus, regardless of losses and wins are closed on the same day because my psychology can not afford too big losses, before and after a total of 170,000 yuan, now less than 30,000 yuan for a monthly income of less than 1,500 yuan, the heart pressure can be imagined! I still normally report to the unit every day, after the name to run to the exchange to watch the trading time is long, the leadership also found that I have some disorders, work is not active, not looking for progress! Finally, one day, the leader found me, and I had a talk, asked me if there is something at home recently? Why is work not active at all? I said some other reasons to put it off, but did not tell him I was doing futures! And show that in the future to pay attention to this aspect of things! Work will be attentive!!! In my spare time I went through a lot of past trading theories of masters at home and abroad, including: Japanese candlestick charts, Gann theory, wave theory, chaos theory, fools theory, short term trading theory, etc., to know all kinds of trading laws by heart! I hope to improve my performance through the learning of various trading concepts! In order to establish my own undefeated fighting spirit, I get up every morning in the mirror to encourage myself: you will succeed, believe in yourself! Day trading is certainly not as risky as overnight trading, but frequent trading is also an operational taboo! Soon, by October 1, my capital loss of less than 10,000 yuan! October 1 to, I want to go home to see my old parents, due to more than half a year has been addicted to futures, did not take the initiative to go home to see my parents I have been the pride of my parents, but now I am facing a problem at the same time I borrowed from my aunt 100,000 yuan is about to expire, how to do it? A few days before going home, my father-in-law and I were drinking together, casually chatting up! The father-in-law is retired from the leadership position, usually idle, and did a cement business, the benefits can be! I am usually a good boy in their hearts honest never lie, I say what they believe in the dinner period, I thought of the idea of borrowing money from my father-in-law, I told him I want to partner with friends also do building materials business, is no capital my father-in-law asked my friend is reliable? I said reliable! I told him I wanted to partner with a friend to do the building materials business. The next day, my father-in-law came to my home, gave me a passbook, told me to take me 100,000 yuan to use, if not enough later to find a way, and told me to be careful, what things must be discussed with my wife I took the money tears almost fell, gratitude, feelings of guilt are, the most or guilt! Because I know myself, I am cheating them! And they are the people around me who believe in me and love me the most! And I was cheating on the people who were dearest to me! Anyway, the difficulty in front of me was finally overcome. In order not to let my wife find out my secret, I went back home early! Before leaving, I took out 800 yuan from the account, because the Mid-Autumn Festival is coming, filial piety to parents should always be returned home after I returned the money to my aunt, aunt heard that my business is doing well is very happy, said the future use of money to her again to get, she will support me! My parents asked me how my business was doing, and I said it was fine! They were very happy, they think my son I have made a difference! I stayed at home for a day on the county, that day and the old father two people drank half a pound of wine together, I do not know what reason! I wanted to cry, so much I wanted to cry in front of my parents once because these six months or so, I own the pressure is too much, the pressure I can barely breathe! On the way home, I leaned against the bus seat and looked out blankly, a gray and dull piece in front of me, so confused, my future in the end where it is? After returning home, I rested at home for a few days and didnt go anywhere! I spent all day shutting myself in my room, or flipping through the relevant technical analysis books to pass the time I feel that I am slowly losing confidence in myself, I sometimes doubt the market, doubt their own ability! I finally understand what is called futures so far today, realize that the risk of futures at home for a few days, the turn of the day to October 8, the opening of the I went to the unit after the roll call, the leader went away on a business trip, they have nothing to do, and ran to the trading department to see before the holiday I have been optimistic about the wheat market, but did not buy after the opening, wheat opened a lot higher, my heart slammed, could it be that the market really came? I bought a full position in 1584 wheat 401, because only less than 8,000, so bought 6 hands, after the floating win continue to add positions, probably near 1680, all sold before and after only less than three days, my money became about 15,000, I rekindled hope! I feel that the opportunity of agricultural products may have come, I ate 6 hands of soybeans near 2900 401, very lucky, I caught three stops, near the third stop, I sold all, and in the same position all buy back to continue to hold the purpose is not to be forced to close the position after consecutive stops, and finally near the 3340 point, I closed all the single in hand, this soybean trading, is my capital over I was happy to die! Subsequently, I locked the aluminum variety, it is a chance, I next room of the small king found me, impulsively said, he found a law, recently aluminum every day to the end of the closing low, the next day high open low his words caught my attention, I studied a little, indeed, I then bought full positions at the close of each day, in the next day the opening on the dump, and then continue to trade soybeans within the plate This is how to trade repeatedly, after three weeks, my capital has reached close to 90,000 these days, I almost every day in the treats, because I win the most, but also naturally become the focus of attention objects as long as they see me in the run to my room, either yelling for my treats, or let me tell them how to buy and sell my room every day full of people next door to do futures also moved to my room! Im here! I seemed to become a futures guru overnight, and I myself was a bit drifting to October low, I took an inventory of my account, the commission did 16,000 yuan, account funds 98400 yuan, three weeks, I actually won more than 10 times, which is something I never dreamed of. I have no sense of risk under the stars, I have long forgotten a friend saw my situation at this time to warn me: after a big win there will be a big loss! I listened to this and couldnt stop laughing and thought, "What do you know? After a few days, the manager of the futures company responsible for our region called and asked our manager about my situation, my capital is not large, but I have created the best profit record since the company was established! After I found out about this, I got even more carried away I threatened to be the second Jahn in front of my friends! But my luck was really good in that period of time, after a successful trading of sky gum, which made my money go up to the next level! I and a friend of mine together to do research on gum he is long gum, I bearish gum, he is 150,000 funds, the results in the vicinity of 17000 he more than 10 hands, my funds only a little more than 100,000, due to different views and who can not convince who, in the same position I empty 10 hands left only to see whos lucky, the result is the day of the drop the next day, gum did not drop, low open immediately after the high, he In November 2003, the rubber market probably everyone knows, a plunge in the market my single in the third stop near all flat, my funds have been more than 200,000 while his funds only left a little more than 20,000 This is gambling, is the cruelty of the futures market! This time the successful trading of gum, so that my losses are all made up, and there are tens of thousands of dollars of winnings my self-confidence more swell, I have been brewing the next step capital impact 500,000 and 1 million grand plan fourth struggling in hell through this successful trading of gum, so that my account capital successfully break through the 200,000 mark with this 200,000 recently, I just need to move a little in the plate every day, is less than a few thousand, more than 20,000. It is less than a few thousand, more than a few tens of thousands of profit and loss of my then more than 1,000 yuan of salary in January, it is really ninety cows a hair! So I do not have the heart to work, and in the futures do not need too many people, do not need too many treats and gifts! Whether you are eloquent or not, no matter how strong your social skills are, as long as you have the ability, you can make a lot of money! At this point, I have gradually lost my mind, self-confidence has been super-expanded people in the forgetfulness of the time, disaster has also quietly descended due to the plate of funds is very large, I am generally full day trading, and after nearly half a month, probably to the time of New Years Day, my funds not only did not progress, but shrinkage, the account there are more than 180,000 a little, but the shrinkage is not very large! After New Years Day, I locked the focus of the transaction on copper, the plate I will be the main trading in the plate once I had 15 lots of copper in the plate, the price of copper at that time about 24,000 points near, after lunch, the results of the opening after the big rise, I did not greedy, after earning 400 points immediately after the throw, that transaction I earned about 30,000 more than with my 2 years of salary ah, I feel that futures I feel that futures is really a gold mine, where the money is inexhaustible! As a result of long-term habit of chasing up and killing full positions, so I often chase some trend obvious varieties once, copper in the plate down very aggressive, I made a short single chase in near the stop 300 points, the morning closing from the stop about 50 points, I have several friends around to celebrate me, I also calculate in my own mind through this transaction, the funds must be over the 300,000 mark! That day noon is my treat, that noon we drank a lot of wine, in order not to delay the afternoon to see the plate, the manager of the trading department first rushed back, when I left I told him to pay attention to the changes in copper, notify me in time! To 1:40 when he called to congratulate me on the copper has fallen to about 2:00, I could not resist the joy of the heart rushed back to the trading department, I opened the plate to see, copper is still sealed there, I was relieved but to 2:40 when the plate has changed, the stop was opened, the price quickly back up to the closing time has been pulled back from the quite plate 400 points, I have floated Loss of 100 points but I did not close my position, because the K-line combination tells me that copper is now in a downtrend in the short term but why from the down plate someone dare to pull up, I wonder! In the evening I had dinner has been watching the changes in the foreign market, the foreign metal in the slow decline to 21:00 pm, has fallen close to 60 points, I began to calculate my hands of 15 hands short single can earn how much money? To 21:30, the foreign copper began to stop falling back up, about not 0 minutes to recover all the losses, I hurried to see what news foreign? It turns out that Greenspan was making a speech, more than the overall U.S. economy to the good, resulting in a large number of foreign funds involved I also understand why someone dared to take the plate at a low level in the afternoon was betting on the foreign market report this evening! My heart cursed the old man 1 while also looking forward to copper can fall down or less up! But the result is another sleepless night for me! Foreign copper has risen more than 100 points after the early hours of the night! The next day, ho no question, Shanghai copper opened on a micro stop, I lost more than 70,000 reluctantly rushed to cut positions, after the cut, my funds have less than 120,000 pieces of my head blinded, the brain is blank! Short-term positive can not change the medium-term trend, after three days, the price is back to my selling point near! Through this transaction, I realized the risk of overnight positions, but also learned the power of copper! I gave up trading copper and moved on to less risky soybeans and soybean meal! Trading full positions in copper made my money drop by close to 70,000 overnight! That night, the manager of the trading department invited me to have a meal alone, but this time the meal is not for me to celebrate, but a meal of comfort! He drank a lot of wine with me that day, and we both almost got drunk after drinking, I did not go home, drifting alone in the street, see the streets of green neon lights, blurred in front of the eyes, deep inside issued a vague sense of sadness! I passed by a stall that sells books I looked at the owner of the book selling busy and happy, my heart was so envious! Although they earn less, but also will not suffer to me such a night loss of 70,000 nightmare ah!!!! I came home late, after coming home, the wife and children have been asleep I stood beside my wife, looking at their mother and two sweet look when sleeping, I finally could not control myself, falling tears! I rushed back to my room, covered my head inside the quilt, lost my voice pain repressed more than 2 years of bitterness finally at this moment to vent out, in order not to wake up the wife, I tried to suppress their voices after half an hour, my heart calmed down a lot I lay in bed, took out my beloved "Hammering Winners Mindset" book, the experience of yesterday recorded! In a daze I went to sleep, in my dream I dreamed of my old mother I rested for three days without operating, because I know that after a big loss peoples anxious mindset is more detrimental to the operation After three days, I came back to the trading department, back to the place where I seem to have been absent for a long time Friends know that I came back, came to me to greet me, said some words of relief, I smilingly said to them that it does not matter, I can still afford it. I can still afford it, they see me like this, also relieved to say that deep down, I am very grateful that they can come here to see me, especially when I was lost! The first thing he asked me after arriving was: Are you okay? I said: No! He said: Really? He said: Really? I said: Really nothing, see now I am not bad? He said: If I had lost 70,000 overnight, I would have jumped off a building! I laughed helplessly 70,000 yuan is not enough to buy a life from today onwards, I traded mainly soybeans and gave up on the operation of copper! In the next half month, I was cautious, basically day trading is the main after about a month of trading, my funds slowly recovered to about 180,000 Turning to July 2004, the weather has gradually warmed up, peoples emotions also began to change with the weather, this years summer seems to be hotter than every year early, making people feel very uncomfortable! Through close to 2 months of recovery, I have slowly come out of the shadow of the copper loss, and occasionally began to leave small positions overnight positions I have been trading in soybeans very smoothly, the time to miss is generally very little! At the time, soybeans were in a downward spiral, and I expected that the future of soybeans would be very large, so I was looking for a medium-term short soybean opportunity! Finally, one day the opportunity came, another opportunity to change my fate came due to the recent soybean has been operating very smoothly, the feeling for the trend is also good into July since the soybean downtrend is becoming clearer and clearer! One day, the opportunity I had been waiting for for days finally came! This day, the plate of soybeans and soybean meal varieties in the rapid decline in the plate, I killed in the drop before the board, made 68 hands of soybean meal short single (specific time and point can not remember), this time and the previous difference is that I feel that my chances of winning are great! During the night, I have been paying attention to the changes in the foreign market, perhaps by the impact of the domestic plate, the foreign soybean market after the opening of the rapid decline, although the plate repeatedly repeatedly rebounded, but eventually sealed on the down plate! I was very excited, my judgment is right I began to calculate how much money I can make tomorrow on soybean meal the next day, I came to the unit very early, 8:40, I spoke with the leadership, go out to do something leadership told me that today to travel, immediately! I was anxious in my heart one day: how can we do this? I calmed down a bit, I first went to the trading department to see, if the opening on the stop, I will hold a position without moving a stop profit as a stop-loss space, medium-term hold! I hurried to the trading department, 5 minutes short of the opening I opened yesterdays position analysis I was in the futures company did not have a position in soybean meal, yesterday more than 68 hands of short orders! This 68 hands short single is my! The opening, the price did not open down as expected imagined, only down more than 40 points, but the price quickly rebounded! In the blink of an eye, the 40-point drop is only 10 points at this point, the unit leader called, let me immediately go over together with the business car in waiting for me! I told the leader, I immediately go over, wait for me a little while! At this time, the price is still rebounding, soon to pull red! I just had close to 30,000 yuan of profit, turned into nothing in the blink of an eye! After a few minutes, our leader called again and asked me where the hell am I? A carload of people are waiting for me!!! Im a little dizzy at this point, and angry and anxious and disappointed! The angry is, why is the domestic plate so tough? The anxious is, why non-now the unit has something, and the leaders are waiting for me? Disappointed is that their dreams of getting rich again dashed!!! I had no choice but to close my position when the price turned red for about 5 points, losing all the money! Rushing back to the unit! Back from a business trip in the afternoon, I came to the trading department, opened the computer, I took a look at the plate dumbfounded, just after I left the position closed about less than 20 minutes, soybeans and soybean meal all sealed to the down plate, forcing the year cut a day did not open! The early plate of more stubborn resistance did not resist the ultimate downward force! My brain is blank! The mood is a drop in the bucket! Want to cry no tears! I dont know what its like, I locked the door to my room, closed my eyes and sat there dumbfounded, tears flowing down involuntarily! I wanted to bawl, I wanted to shout: God, why are you so unjust to me? The next week, soybean meal no longer give me any opportunity, about a week, soybean meal down about 400 points, close to 300,000 profits just slipped away from my hands the fifth approaching death soybean meal trading failure, so I realized that futures trading does not only rely on capital, technical analysis and mentality, and sometimes rely on a certain amount of luck this soybean meal trading so that my confidence is very hard hit In addition to the unit leadership of my nearly a year of work dissatisfaction, gradually my mentality began to noise up in order to increase the magnitude and speed of profits, I frequent intraday short term heavy operations, and almost every day to stay overnight positions! The result is predictable, less than a months time, my capital shrunk to less than 80,000 during a friend of mine has always wanted to do intermediaries, so he encouraged me to transfer my account to him! Because he is not in a good condition, doing futures lost a lot of money, and his wife did not work I agreed, in a genuine desire to help him a little after a month of preparation, his small trading department opened, my account transferred to him! In his place to do about a week or so, the money has not changed much, has been between 60,000 to 80,000 during the acquaintance of a few friends, they often come to the trading department here to play cards once, they sat next to me watching me trade, less than that hour of time, I earned more than 8000, this is very exciting for them, but also deeply attracted them! After a few days, they themselves also opened an account, a small amount of inches a part of the money, try to trade one day, I placed a short order in the plate, full empty soybeans September, 1:40 p.m. more than when the soybeans fell rapidly, I less than half an hour, has won close to 8,000 yuan! At this point, my friend called and shouted at me to take a shower! I was depressed, thinking: 8,000 yuan of profit is enough, less than half an hour ah so I closed the position and then went to the shower, to return in the afternoon, the results and the same as before, all down! The next day, another stop! The third day, the stop opened, struggling a bit, and finally closed near the stop! I calculated, less earned close to 50,000 yuan regret ah, intestines are regretted, later I often joke, a meal ate 70,000 yuan, a bath washed off 50,000 yuan! I am more disappointed in the operation of soybeans, then I do not do soybeans, in order to faster turn back the money, I locked the varieties of copper on the copper we all know, by the foreign exchange, risky, but also large profits coincided with those times the copper market is a shaky market, my chasing up and down, the full position operation approach for my killing power, not long, my funds shrunk to less than 50,000! Finally once, I full short position copper, the results of the foreign copper rose and led me to close to a crash position, the final funds left less than 20,000 my mind was completely struck across I have been unable to operate normally and sensibly any small loss for me is a devastation, a torture I do not want to fight, finally overwhelmed temporarily out of the futures market those days, I spent my days with wine, I could not face myself, I could not face myself. Only by the anesthesia of alcohol to be able to sleep very late! My pressure is also increasing day by day, how to make up for the loss of these funds? How can I explain to my wife? How can I explain to my parents? How can I explain to my relatives? In those days, I did not dare to be alone, whenever I was alone at home, I could not control my emotions lost voice pain regret, depression, more invisible pressure this time, I had the idea of light! One night, I drank too much wine walking in the street, I really want to come to a car to run me over, a hundred dead but that night the streets of the car but surprisingly few, occasionally a car, but also around me and I passed a refuse collection point, see in the garbage cans to find something to eat beggars, to say the heart, I envy them, although they are penniless, but not like me so heavily in debt close to 200,000 losses, ah, to me Do 20 years to pay off ah I slowly walked to the bridge not far from the community I live on the river, I sat on the railing, want to jump from the top at this time, a motorcycle came over, there is a couple, the wife in the back of bad holding a child, he saw me, immediately stopped the car, asked me how to go to the peoples hospital, the original child was seriously ill, I told them the route later, he did rushed away I suddenly heart a shock, my daughter where? She is waiting for me to come home, waiting for me to come home to tell him the story I died this way, how do they two mothers? Who will be responsible for the rest of their lives? Do you want the children to lose their father so early? I ran desperately to my home, wanting to see my children immediately! In the cross a grass, I fell to the ground, I bent my head on the ground bawling Sixth valet back home is already late at night, I returned to their rooms after closing the door, turn off the phone, buried their heads will sleep I have been sleeping all day and night, until the next afternoon, I got up! My wife also felt for my unusual behavior, she ran to ask me what happened? I did not pay attention to her! The next few days, I have been very little to say, the heart does not want to talk to anyone, I go to work every day on time, to the unit, write their own diary and rarely speak to others, the leader arranged what I do what I then go home on time! This state probably lasted about a month, the National Day is coming up, we are all excited about the upcoming holiday, and began to plan where to travel I am a little interested in these, the whole October 1 I was spent at home, I either read a book every day, or sitting next to the computer! I already knew in my heart that my 10,000 yuan has no power of return, the miracle of 10 times in January will not happen again I also did not have the courage to raise funds after October 1, I did not go to the trading department, the manager of the trading department called to ask me how I did not see me this period of time? I told him that I was busy in my office and would not be there for a while! He told me on the phone to go, there are things to discuss with me, I asked him what is it? He said it was not clear on the phone, meet in detail to talk! I came to the trading department after work in the afternoon, I hadnt been here for over a month, everything was so familiar and strange! I came to my room, there were already four people waiting for me, including the manager of the trading department! The rest of the three people I know are three friends who just opened an account to do futures! Seeing me coming, the manager of the trading department said: there is something I want to ask your opinion! I asked: what is it? He said: The three of them want to entrust you to operate the futures for them! When I heard this, my heart suddenly lit up! I asked: how to operate? He said: this specific you to talk about I then asked the three of them what ideas, their meaning is clear, they do not bear the risk, after the winnings I take 60% of the winnings, losses belong to me! In fact, this is an unfair request! I asked them how much money they were going to invest? They said two accounts, one account 60,000! One of the accounts is a partnership between two people and the other account is for one person! I didnt answer them at that time and said to think about it first! After I got home I did some careful calculations, this partnership is not fair, but I can raise 120,000 dollars and no interest! It was still a good deal! I was so excited and thanked God for giving me another chance to turn my money around! At the same time, I wonder why they chose me to play for them? I recently lost a lot of money they are aware of, or come to me to know, I was in our futures circle of fame, even if the last I crashed, there are many people believe in my ability! Its a bit ridiculous now in retrospect! The next day, I replied to them and agreed to their way of cooperation those days, coincidentally catching up with the Shanghai fuel futures just listed, the market is very hot they hope to let me start operating immediately, hoping I can win as soon as possible! Within a few days, I signed a contract with them, one for one year and one for two years! And so, I began to manage my money on behalf of my clients and returned to the futures market once again! I named the two accounts of my financial operation as A, B account A account of the partner is working in the credit union, I guess she is using her position to get out of the funds for futures operations, B account of the partner is two business, they used to do a good business, then business is not good, they are idle at home, and do not know what way to contact the futures! A account of the first transaction is in the copper trading, about 20 minutes of time, won 120,000 yuan, I immediately called to inform her, she was overjoyed, and proposed to immediately take out 120,000 to share, I also agreed! In this time period she rushed from the credit union to the trading department, I made a fuel multi-single, I did not expect fuel in less than 10 minutes after I bought, and began to dive, in the dive of 15 points, I was ready to place an order to close, at this point, my computer suddenly crashed, because the trading department of the computer is the Internet cafe down, crashed is a frequent phenomenon, but this crash is fatal for me After the computer restarted to run normally, the fuel has stopped dozens of points down, just a few minutes of time, because of the computer to make my winnings on copper has been reduced to nothing! When she rushed to the trading department, my account has appeared floating losses, I had no choice but to close out! I was ashamed to see how happy she looked when she arrived! Because she also bought a lot of good food for this purpose, ready to celebrate! I told her the whole process, she could not believe her ears, in just an hour or so, the loss and gain of more than 10,000 yuan! And it was all for nothing! This transaction is the first transaction of the A account, but also the only time to win, from then on, this account has become the road of no return B account will be relatively smooth operation, in B account I operate soybeans, about less than three days, the account funds have reached 810,000, and later and B account of the two partners discussed, the profits of the winnings out of 20,000, I shared 120,000, they both shared 8,000. They both shared 8,000, each got 4,000 for this, we also celebrated a little! Later, account B made several more profits, and I made a total of 350,000 in dividends, which means that the account made nearly 60,000 in profits, but after the last dividend, a failed trade in copper shrunk the account to less than 50,000! From then on, its fate and the same A account, are on the road of no return! Time soon arrived in March of 2005, after several months of frequent operations, A account has less than 30,000, B account also shrunk to less than 350,000! All told, these two accounts have lost more than 50,000 yuan, plus my share of the funds, I lost close to 20,000 yuan! My mind started to get anxious! After entering April, my operation situation is even worse, rarely win, want to win fear of loss of thought to make my operation always shrink, fear of the front and back, account funds continue to shrink, A account has shrunk to about 20,000, B account is less than 30,000! I didnt want to go, but then I thought about it, Im addicted to futures all day, rarely accompany her, its time to compensate her, so I agreed! In order to play for two more days, we set off on Tuesday and were going to be back on Sunday afternoon! Before leaving, I made a careful analysis of the market for gum, and felt that the market was very big, and that the rise of gum should be immediate! So I set up in two accounts inside the rubber long single but what things are unexpected, in the day after I left, the rubber began to fall, the manager of the trading department called me to tell me that the futures company has notified me of margin calls! Since the two accounts were left with the phone numbers of their partners, the call for margin call came to them first, and they came to the trading department to ask about the situation, but they couldnt find me, and I was in Shanghai at that time! They were very scared and didnt know what happened when I received the call, I called directly with the futures company and asked for some information, I told them to wait for one day first, if it falls again tomorrow, they will close the single! The next day, the rubber continued to fall close to 200 points, a manager of the futures company also began to urge me to hurry to close the position, I had no choice but to tell a manager to open my account to close the single, this time to close the position on my killing power is very large, A account of the funds have been to less than 10,000 yuan, B account of the funds also shrunk to less than 20,000! I was very upset! But the more chagrined thing is that after I closed my position in gum, gum stopped falling and began a crazy rise, I closed my position at a price that was almost the lowest point to later learn that this decline is the last washout before the long pull-up, just so I caught up, to clean me out! I am to cry, lamenting their bad luck, the sky to destroy me, I want what for? After closing my position, I was in no mood to continue to play in Shanghai and returned home on Saturday! The failure of this rubber operation completely shattered my confidence and dreams, and the two accounts of A and B have accumulated less than 30,000 yuan! I won 30,000 yuan in dividends, I played into my account, my account and A account is synchronized with the operation, so did not escape the fate of the crash! My mood also fell to the lowest point of my life, I calculated before and after, a total loss of close to 300,000, this figure for the rich people is nine cows a penny! But for me as a working class, it is simply an astronomical figure! My monthly salary is only a little more than 1000, which means I have to struggle for 30 years ah I am no longer in the mood to operate, nor in the mood to go to work, even to the unit is also careless at night when there is nothing to do, I began to study sports lottery, fantasy to win the grand prize of 5 million, so the investment in the lottery is also relatively large, sports lottery, welfare lottery, soccer lottery where and betting-related. I participated in all of them! The most I ever bought was a soccer lottery ticket, and I bought more than 2,000 dollars at one time, but I didnt win any of the two third prizes! In a months time, I invested close to 10,000 yuan in the lottery! But except for the occasional small prize, I didnt even see a ghost of a jackpot, so I had no chance at all! During this period of time, I was drunk almost every day! I seldom went home before 12:00 at midnight, I had no courage to face my wife and daughter, no courage to step into the house! I often prayed at night and confessed to God! I regret that the painstaking efforts of a complete and happy home has been shattered I feel that I am ashamed of my wife, at this time she has not felt the crisis that is about to erupt behind the happy family! I have been particularly good to her for a while, and I have been spending a lot of money, probably to make up for the guilt in my heart, and I have taken some of the money out of my account to buy her clothes, cosmetics, and take her out to eat. I not only did not create a good environment for her, but I thought about it and could not help but fall into tears! My daughter ran over to me and asked, "Daddy, why are you crying? I took her in my arms and said to her: Dad saw you happy tears! As the saying goes: Men two have tears do not play lightly, just not to the sad place! I have deeply appreciated the meaning of the phrase! I often sit alone on the balcony a daze, dull forgetting the white clouds floating across the sky, looking at the blue sky, how beautiful the scenery, but the world is so good, but there is no place for me! I often reflect on myself alone, is their own stupid? I have been in the top of the grade from elementary school to university is my technology learning is not enough? Technical analysis, trading ideas of the book I read no less than a hundred is my experience of the grind is not enough? Two years, the blow and inhumane baptism has been enough is my gambling nature too much? Is it because I have not reached the level? Or should I not have borrowed money to do futures? Can futures be successful or not? What are the elements that must be in place for futures to be successful? I began to think hard about these issues in the twinkling of an eye, in September 2005, there is one month October 1 will arrive one day my father-in-law came to my home, and I chatted during, he asked about my so-called "business" now how to do? I said with a stiff upper lip that everything was going well! He told me that after October 1, to use the money, if convenient, can first extract part of the funds out? When I heard this, I was scared, where would I get the money to pay him back? But I couldnt reveal my mistake, because I hadnt reached the last moment, so I agreed and said I would take some of the money out after October 1st! After a few days, I operated one of the accounts (B account) of the two people called, said the contract period is almost up, they are ready to invest the money in other areas, let me prepare funds! I panicked, where would I get the money for them? These days, in order to have the possibility to earn more money! I have become even more aggressive in frequent operations, specifically to choose those with a greater degree of ups and downs, as their own operating varieties! But as the frequency of operation gradually increased, the probability of error also gradually increased! By the end of September, A B two accounts of funds almost nothing left! And the position is no different, has lost the meaning of the operation! Want to turn back again is no longer possible, completely hopeless! My own account in the middle and add a few funds, are short-term due to the wife in the unit to do charge work, the daily funds are deposited to the card on the same day but that period of time, she does not know what the reason, not willing to go to the bank to deposit money, she asked me to deposit money on her behalf, the result gave me another opportunity after a continuous loss, my account inside only about 7000 pieces of coincidentally, my wife asked me to help her deposit money, each time there are 10,000 pieces! More than 10,000 yuan each time! I deposit the money into my account every morning, close the position 15 minutes before closing to take out, and then deposit to the wifes unit card inside! Maybe its because of my wifes wealth, maybe because of the reason that Im more careful with my wifes money, the success rate of the account operation is very high, I remember that I started this mode of operation on Monday, accessing the funds every day, and by Friday, my money had doubled from 7,000 to more than 50,000! A week of profit 7 times! Later, my wife went to deposit the money herself, and this mode of operation was over! As the remaining time is not much, I am getting more and more impatient, I began to use the only 50,000 funds to frequent full positions to operate! At this point, some of you will ask, why do I want to operate full positions? Do not know the risk of full positions? Why do you want to leave overnight positions? Not aware of the killing power of overnight positions? Recently I have been under great pressure, I know how to operate in the medium term, and also go how to do, but the medium-term operation a year win 20%, 50% or even double, for me there is no sense! Because what I need is a short period of time to quickly win enough money to pay off those debts! Because if I cant pay those debts when they expire, I know what the consequences will be! All the lies would be exposed, and I would be ashamed in front of my relatives, parents, wife and children! I didnt dare to imagine what it would be like, what they would think of me! So I had to gamble hard to win and hope to recover my money! By the end of September 2005, the funds in my account were still maintained at between 40,000 and 50,000. The National Day came and the futures market was closed for 7 days. I dont want to see the market closed, I really want to trade every day, even at night are trading October 10, finally opened, I can finally operate again, so I took a weeks leave from the unit, said that the body is sick! October 17, in I left a short position of copper overnight, after the closing, I feel very stuffy in my heart, there is a kind of ominous dare! I feel that the single may be finished night, I have been watching the plate to 2:00 am, the foreign metal rose, I know they are completely finished, that night, I was up all night seventh escape career clearly remember, it seems to be Thursday morning I drowsy from bed, yesterdays foreign metal rose has completely crushed my confidence! My will has been knocked across! I no longer have the courage to continue to fight in the futures market because of the upcoming debt collection pressure I can not afford! My mind flashed inside two words "flee", fleeing is the road of no return for many end heroes maybe after fleeing there will be new hope to happen although there is this idea, but I can not yet make this determination, thought once I choose this road, I do not know how the future will be? What price will my parents, wife and children, and relatives pay for this? What kind of pressure will they face? I went out in a hurry at less than 8 oclock, I did not go to the unit, but with a good friend of mine (together with futures) on the phone, he asked him out, together with the breakfast meal, I was distracted after eating, we walked together to the street, while walking and talking! It was raining, the sky was gray, my mood was dark to the extreme, I told my friend I was ready to leave the city, he heard a flinch and asked me why? I told him: Ive failed in futures, I dont have the confidence and courage to do it anymore, and I dont have the face to meet my parents and wife and kids! He didnt believe me because in his mind, I was a hero, how could a hero fail? He half-jokingly said to me: you have to consider the consequences of your departure, but if you really feel that you are no longer suitable for living in this city, you can leave! I support you! To the crossroads, we separated, each to the unit, that morning, I did not go anywhere in the unit, but wrote a long letter to my wife, in the letter, I told her all the facts, and begged her forgiveness! I dare not imagine what she will look like when she sees this letter? I dont feel like imagining what will happen to my family when they find out about it all? I dare not think after the opening of the market at 9:00 am, as expected, Shanghai copper rose, I closed the position, my account inside only 230,000 yuan I returned home, simply pack a little luggage, the letter was placed in the home, to the wife left 5,000 yuan in cash! I came home when I knew that my wife had come back, because the bed had an extra blouse, I guess she bought it for me I cried, lost my voice and cried I fondly looked carefully at every corner of the house, remembering the happy situation of the family together before, I was hungry as a knife! I took away several photos of my wife, daughter and our family together I was in the room, facing my old home to my parents knelt down and kowtowed three heads, begging for their understanding! I knelt in front of my wifes wedding photo and I begged for her understanding and forgiveness! I left my home at noon, I went to the station, I was very confused, I did not know where to go, suddenly, I thought of Suzhou, because at this time is in October, the north must be very cold, I did not prepare winter clothes, so to go to Suzhou is my ideal place to escape, after making up my mind, I bought a train ticket to Suzhou, collapsed on the long-distance bus to Suzhou to reach Suzhou is already night I simply ate a little meal, first found a small family-style hotel to live down a day, I did not open the phone, I lay in bed thinking about what is happening inside the home! Home must be exploding! And how do I go about the future? Is to give up the futures outside with their own little skills to work or continue to operate? People squatting inside the futures for a long time, they formed a kind of inertia, do not want to do anything, because what things are not as fast as the futures! I slept drowsily all night, early the next morning, I opened my phone and saw my wifes message to me, she was up all night worrying about me yesterday my father-in-law also came to my home and saw the letter I left, they could not believe it was true? In their minds, I have always been an honest and simple never lie good boy, but even behind their backs to do such a thing! The mother-in-law cried all night I was introduced to a futures company through a friend of the futures company and opened another account in Suzhou, and they quickly handled the account opening procedures for me, and I was able to trade that afternoon! I put the only 20,000 yuan into this account, leaving 2,000 yuan on my body as pocket money and reserve! I did not trade for a day, I logged on to QQ in the afternoon, I saw my friend sent me a message, he told me he went to my home, once inside the house to see a full son of people, there is my father-in-law, my wife, and my sister, brother-in-law came, they are trying to figure out! My father-in-laws first thought was to help me pay off a debt, even if I lost all my money, as long as I could go home! My wife cried, I left with nothing, especially winter clothes daughter is also crying to find Dad my heart broke, I was in front of the computer that really can not control, while typing while tears!!! I left the computer, sitting by the river, I began to compromise psychologically, I originally came out thinking of anyone I do not contact, but now I want to make a phone call with my wife, I am also very worried about her, I hesitated for a long time, finally I dialed her phone, he received a call very calm, she told me that the family has forgiven me, let me go home I told her I do not want to go home, I die also die outside, I have no face to face family and everything on the phone, I heard my daughter crying, I let my daughter pick up the phone, my daughter asked me on the phone where I went, did not want her my psychological defenses were completely knocked across, I told my daughter I would be home soon my wife told me that there is something we come together to bear let me hurry home I cried for a long time, myself at the river finally I decided to go home, since I had made trouble, but also to After I got home, I saw my wife and daughter at home waiting for my wife jumped over and hugged me and cried loudly, my daughter was also crying next to me and I said to her, Im sorry! She did not say anything I know she is now to me is hate and angry! Through her eyes and that haggard expression, I know that these days must be like years after calming down, my wife told me to let me go to my father-in-laws house and be fully prepared I know, poking such a big hole, they must not easily forgive me but the mistakes they made, must face themselves I first went around the unit, the unit is talking about where I went, because I suddenly disappeared for a few days my appearance dispelled their doubts! I arrived at the door of my father-in-laws house at noon, I was melancholy, I did not know whether I should enter or not? After going in will certainly be scolded by the blood of the dog, do not go in the future how to face? Then ruthlessly, or go in after entering the house, I saw my father-in-law, after kneeling in front of them begging their forgiveness, mother-in-law came out of the house, in my shoulders a few hard slaps, I know she wanted to hit me but could not get down, while slapping me while crying and said: we let you suffer, my daughter almost lost her life for you, you know how she came over these days? Father-in-law pulled me up from the floor, we did more than the sofa father-in-law asked me, why cheat them? I did not answer my father-in-law said: things have come to this point, there is little use blaming you before we trust you, we think you are loyal and honest, we believe what you say, but you happen to take advantage of our trust you are now carrying more than 200,000 debts, when can we pay off ah? I helped you calculate, you can at least 10 years to return to the starting point of zero I listened to the side of the tears he continued: people say that when people are down and out like a mourning dog, I see you now even a mourning dog is worse! I heard this sentence, the heart of a shock, my heart was deeply stabbed my mother-in-law in the side, said I: what you say after we do not believe you, even you say that there is an arm inside the sleeve, we also have to personally pinch to be able to believe you She said more and more agitated, and finally slapped the table and pointed at me scolding: how do we find a family like you, I your eight ancestors! At this point I instead do not cry, I no longer stay in tears! My only self-respect as well as function does not exist, I got up and left my father-in-laws house and then I came to a friend, we drank a little wine at noon, I said coldly, this place I really do not want to stay, I went with a contrite heart to beg their forgiveness, have been prepared to be reprimanded, but did not expect them to say that I since they do not trust me, I still stay here to do what? My friend asked me: Do you want to leave again? I did not answer, but finished the glass of white wine in one gulp! The next day, my sister and brothers-in-law came to my home, they blame me on the one hand, on the other hand, advise me not to think! They said that we should find a way to tide over the difficult times together! About an hour later, my father-in-law came, he came into the house after hugging my daughter in tears I saw my father-in-law in tears for the first time, I also know how much pressure my things brought them father-in-law sat down, and my sisters told me things, my sister also followed the tears after my father-in-law left, my sister and I said, to take my daughter to go back home to see my parents, they are still more than to my things to now I mother has high blood pressure, Im afraid she will know that something will happen! Second sister lives in town, so we returned home together in the afternoon After returning home, I handed my daughter to my parents, told them recently I was busy, no time to look after the child, so that the mother with a few days and I told my parents some of the things my daughter likes to eat that night I returned home, my wife and I together to discuss how to take the next step? I thought of selling my house, and then borrowed some money from my sister, basically solve the problem but my wife strongly disagreed! That night, she was very cold to me did not let me touch her the next morning, I changed into a thicker clothes, left home early in the morning, embarked on a train to Beijing to Beijing, I have no relatives! First, I found an underground hotel to stay! I made up my mind that I would never set foot in my home unless I made a living after this trip! After I settled down, I started to worry about my family again. I thought for a long time and told my parents about it. I first dialed my sisters number, I told him I had arrived in Beijing, I made up my mind to be outside for a short period of time and not come back my sister heard my voice over there and cried, he did not blame me, told me I must think about some, no matter what difficulties encountered and sister, and parents,! I really cant control it, also cried! I told my sister to talk to my parents first. I told my sister to talk to my parents about the situation first, and then I had to talk about it myself! In the evening, I dialed my parents phone, I heard my mothers voice, forced to hold back the sound of tears to my sister are at my parents house, they are afraid that my mother knows what happened to me, because my mother has high blood pressure! My parents probably also shed tears, but my mother acted very calm, she said to me: as long as I am well, we will be fine, you must not think about it! You are still young, only 30 years old, you have the skills to start over again! Remember, you will always be our pride! When I heard this, I couldnt control it anymore and cried out, my mom heard me crying and cried over there too! I said to my mom: Im sorry, Ive made a big mistake! Im the one who got you all into trouble! Mom said: You have to be strong, no matter what, you have to remember, you are a man, fall down and get up! I said: Mom, dont worry 1 I will I gave my phone number to my family, only my parents and sister know my contact information! At the same time I told my friends to visit my home often to see whats going on in time to tell me! I didnt go anywhere for a few days, lying alone inside the hotel, sleeping every day my heart was in turmoil, I didnt know where to go from here! I guessed that my wife will definitely divorce me, I cheated her for so long, so much damage to her, even if she wants a divorce, I will not hesitate to accept, I can no longer drag her down! I ate almost only one meal a day because I had no appetite at all, and I had no appetite lying in bed all day! Three days later, I found an Internet cafe near where I live and made a monthly card, I now have nothing to choose from except futures, I still have close to 20,000 yuan on me this 20,000 yuan is all I hope for the following week, I made a few transactions, all are short term in the plate, no big losses, the money is maintained at about 19,000 yuan I talk to my parents and sister every night on the phone. I am most worried about my mothers health my wife after a few days to go home to pick up my daughter, she took into account my mother has high blood pressure, did not tell my parents about me, in fact, my parents already know and in contact with me, only she does not know where I am after a few days, I contacted my friend on the Internet, he told me to go to my home a few times, for the time being nothing, but my wife looks haggard! But my wife looked very haggard! He also told me that he wanted to come to Beijing to find me and do futures with me. I was shocked to hear that, but I felt very happy because I finally had a companion after he came, not to be alone in the I asked him why he wanted to come to Beijing? He told me that he wanted to change his life through futures, and that only futures could change his current situation! When he was with me, he trusted me a lot, but now that Im gone, hes all alone and lost his backbone! So he wanted to come to Beijing to find me! I promised him, but told him to take care of the unit! I heard him say my wife was emaciated, I was worried I changed a Beijing cell phone number and talked to my wife on the phone wife cried a lot after she received my call, he begged me not to leave her, let me go home! And let me keep in touch with her! I promised to keep in touch with her, after all, she is innocent, the whole incident, the originator is a person I, it is also a victim but I told her I would not go home! After a few days, my friend took sick leave from his unit and said he was coming to Beijing to see a doctor (he has been in poor health) I told him to go to my home before he came to help me bring a little winter clothes I then called my wife and told her that my friend was coming and asked him to get his clothes ready for me, and by the way, my diploma and engineers qualification certificate I brought my diploma and engineers certificate, in case I could use them, I could find a job! After a few days, my friend arrived, the time is November 8, I remember very clearly that day in order to pick him up, I came to the train station beforehand to stay overnight, more than 4:00 in the morning, it seems, he arrived we met in the square, my eyes wet, he was the first person I saw after coming out of home ah! We exchanged a few pleasantries, and took him to where I live in order to save money, we rented a slightly larger basement, 500 yuan a month we eat and live together! I that night, in the vegetable market near where we live in a small store to him to catch the wind, asked for 2 dishes, drank a few beers he gave me a general description of my familys situation after I left, told my father-in-law is trying to help me raise part of the money to deal with the upcoming debt collection storm! He told me that my wife is very emaciated, the whole person lost a lot of weight before coming, his wife cried to him to see me later with a sentence: she will always love me, no matter what happens, she will not leave me! After I heard this, tears involuntarily gushed out, could not help but lose their voices and cried out! Because of me, my wife, daughter, parents, relatives are worrying about me, worrying about me! Later days, we went to the Internet cafe together to do futures, that period of time I stared at the wheat variety, I was determined to bearish wheat will be in the strong wheat May on the short list, he also followed me to do the short list, but strong wheat May is a forced short trend, the price never came down we lost 15 points after the set out! But then the main force in September on the big short, strong wheat 509 large vice down rub, but I did not choose this variety, but to shift attention to soybean meal up, while he seized the opportunity to fall in strong wheat 509, his capital from just one when the 230,000, turned into 320,000 my capital from 190,000 into 170,000 I then established a short order on soybean meal, position about 80% more, just as I Short the next day, the foreign market rose, my short single loss of more than 40 points, I also lost close to 3,000 yuan my capital became about 14,000 I was afraid, because the capital loss to 15,000 is my bottom line, the loss to 15,000 or less, I stopped the operation, the 15,000 is my life-saving money! As a result, I was forced to close my position! In fact, the point where I closed my position was the highest point at that time, in the third day after I closed my position, the price of a large vice down rub, soybean meal a bite from down more than 200 points I want to cry God again teased me! This time the failure of soybean meal, crushed my psychological defenses! Because I can no longer lose, can no longer afford to lose, if another loss, I will not survive! I used to be in the unit is engaged in engineering technology, is the units business backbone! So, I thought about whether I could find a job in Beijing! I started to post my resume online and pay attention to the recruitment information in various newspapers! But I was disappointed that most of the companies I contacted were either insurance companies or salesmen! In order to control myself from operating futures, I withdrew all the funds from my account! And transferred to another card! The rest of the day, only my friend himself to the Internet cafe to operate! And Im out looking for work every day! Half a month has passed, the work thing or no results to the weekend, I and my friend two people discussed how to go out to relax, we went together to Wangfujing, to Tiananmen, and finally went to Badaling Great Wall in the car back, sitting next to me is a woman about 30 years old, he took the initiative to talk to me on the road, and I talked about some of the problems on the outlook on life later, before getting off, she wanted After a few days, I street an unfamiliar phone, after picking up the woman I met in the car which day she asked me where I was and invited me out to dinner, said that day in the car chatting is very opportune I hesitated, but also because there is nothing to agree to her invitation we ate a meal in a restaurant in the Asian Games Village, and later through chatting I learned that she was doing Amway sales, he In the conversation, she wanted me to do Amway with her! I didnt say anything at that time! I told her I didnt know anything about Amway and I didnt know how to sell it! She told me that this is very good to learn, and there are special training institutions to classes I asked her to do Amway this industry, to do what conditions? She told me not to do anything, but before selling to others to understand the function of the goods they are selling, so they must first use a set of products! It takes about 8000 dollars to buy a set of products! I listened and laughed, understanding what she was doing for, and I never contacted her again! The next day is almost New Years Day, my friend since to Beijing, futures do not do badly, the capital always maintained between 20,000-30,000, no big losses, no big winnings! As he came after only two months of sick leave, so I had to go home immediately I was very sad and had to wander alone in a foreign country the day he left, I was drunk I was so envious of my friend, he could go home, while I was unable to return home! In the next few days, I was looking for a job everywhere by myself, and since there are many traps in finding a job nowadays, I was eager to find a job, but also afraid to go to an interview and meet a liar! After a week or so, there was still no result! I realized how hard it is to make a living out there! Gradually I lost confidence in finding a job right away, but I couldnt sit on my hands like this, so I thought of futures again! But there is some fear, afraid of what to do in case of a loss? Finally, one day, I couldnt control myself and went to the Internet cafe, sat down at the computer again, and opened the futures trading screen because all the funds had been transferred out of the account, so I had to transfer all the funds back to the futures account. After I entered my password incorrectly several times, the system froze my bank card. The answer I got was very disappointing, I had to go to the bank to get a new card! I went to the bank counter again and got the same answer, you have to go to the original initial account bank for the card is frozen but you can use the passbook to access! But I forgot my bankbook at home, how can I do? What scares me more is that at this time I only have less than 100 yuan of cash on my body usually I use the money is always ready to take the money out, my next life is a problem, I was completely dumbfounded! Then I repeatedly consulted the bank, but the answer was the same, to get money I had to go back to the bank near my home I returned to my place in frustration, did not eat, lying in bed with the covers over my head! Why is the password wrong, I used to use this password all the time!!! Is it Gods will not let me continue to survive outside? This doubt until now I have not solved I did not go out of the room for three days, nor did I eat anything, nor did I feel hungry, the old seemed to lie in bed and sleep! By the third night, I walked out of the room in a daze, perhaps because I had not eaten for a long time, my body was breathless and felt very weak! I went to the small restaurant I often go to, asked for 2 dishes, asked for a few bottles of beer, and dried up in one go! After I finished eating, I went to the garden by myself and sat on a bench looking at the stars in the sky, I couldnt help but shed tears! God forced me to go home, and Ive been outside for two months, except for a few thousand dollars of loss, and nothing has been done! Around 22:00 at night, I dialed my wifes phone and told her that my bank card had been frozen and that I had recently gone back once! She was sleeping at the moment, as if she didnt understand what I was saying, she couldnt believe her ears! After a while, she said to me happily: you do not worry, I immediately go online your card to play 500 yuan to do the road, I and my daughter at home waiting for you, hurry back to say these words, I heard her voice a little choked I told her that I do not want to see anyone back home, especially her parents she promised the next day, I rented the house back, pack a little luggage, they collapsed on the train home! The eighth manipulator sat in the car all day, more than 10 oclock at night, I returned home I returned to this both familiar and feel strange city, and back to the I live in this familiar can not be familiar with the neighborhood from the cab down, is going to the building, suddenly saw two figures in front of me, I fixed my eyes, is the wife and daughter two people, so late they have not slept, has been waiting for me my heart sour wife I picked up my luggage, I picked up my daughter, desperately in her face a few kisses daughter saw me and cried, asked me where I had gone? She missed me and asked me if the Ministry wanted her to enter the home, my wife put down my luggage, hugged me and cried, I could feel how much mental and psychological pressure on her for a period of time, I held her face, feeling that she was haggard, mental state is also very tired I do not know what to say to her I have been at home for three days did not go out, I spent every day at home with my daughter, my wife went to work for a A few days, I went to the Bank of China in front of the house, the only card in more than 10,000 dollars out, to the wife, I completely surrendered people in the futures squatting for a long time, will form a kind of inertia what do not want to do, just thinking about futures feel like doing nothing else, what is not as fast as the futures! I used to feel like I was a genius at futures, but I never had the opportunity to touch the big money, and it was my dream to be a big money trader! One day, the manager of the futures company called me and said there was an opportunity and asked if I was interested. One day, the manager of the futures company called me and said he had an opportunity and asked if I was interested. He said there was an organization looking for a futures trader through him and he thought of me first. He said I should be able to operate tens of millions of dollars I was so happy to hear that I promised him that I would wait for his news! When I answered the phone, my wife was beside me. After I answered the phone, my tears came down and I knelt down and worshipped to God, thanking God for giving me such an opportunity. I came to the futures company because the futures company is in the provincial capital, so I moved at night and arrived early in the morning! In order to give the boss a good impression, I carefully dressed up, put on their best clothes rushed to the futures company, it was already more than 10 a.m. I did a little in his office, and when he finished dealing with things, we rushed to the place where I will operate in the future we came to a villa-style courtyard located in a prime location, he was lamenting that in this location there is such a villa should have What a strength! Im also secretly glad I found a big boss to run it for them! When we arrived, the boss had just arrived I couldnt believe that it was a young and beautiful young woman We met in the living room and after exchanging a few pleasantries, we began to communicate about futures operations I talked generally about futures trading ideas, futures trading methods, etc. I didnt expect that the boss would be very satisfied with me! I promised to cooperate with me and asked me to work for them as a trader. After the meeting, there was still half an hour before dinner, so we went around the courtyard together and walked around the various rooms, including the place where I would work in the future. The manager of the futures company told me that according to his analysis, this woman must have a background! It cant be the owner of this institution, she must have a background behind the scenes! I had to wait at home, but I was very excited and felt that another opportunity had come. The Spring Festival is coming, I have been waiting at home for almost a month, but there is no news, I have nothing to do in this period of time to do simulation trading, simulation capital 1 million, practice with the 1 million funds how to control the risk, how to open positions! The Spring Festival has arrived, my brother-in-law also came back, he and I are both relatives, but also good friends relationship because of my things we have not said to him, so he did not know that he came back, did not go back to his father-in-laws house but came directly to me first to see me after a few days, he invited me over for dinner, which now gives me a problem! As I have been squatting at home since I returned, it is not and in-laws, I am afraid to meet with them, but also from the heart do not want to see them, because whenever I recall what they said to me, the heart is like being cut by a knife! My wife also wanted me to go to my father-in-laws house, but she couldnt say it! Later, my wife went to my father-in-laws house, I guess she discussed with them and came back to me and said, "Lets forget all the previous things, the past is past and meet in the future, the previous things are not mentioned I heard that she still wants me to go to my father-in-laws house I thought for a long time, in fact, all this is caused by me, which led to a series of events, this thing if you think about it, in the future if my son-in-law out This kind of thing, I am what will react? I finally decided to go on a trip to okay, to my father-in-laws home after the meeting, although we are not natural but did not talk much, the atmosphere is a little awkward, but after all, than I do not go to the much better after dinner I took my daughter on the street in the name of hurry out, directly back home! The following days were spent in peace and waiting, because I have been anxiously waiting for the company side to notify me to go to manipulate! Until the end of March 06, I finally received a phone call, telling me to report to the company (the future of the company refers to the agency which I am operating), it turns out that this period of time, the company has been in renovation! So it was delayed for more than 2 months I was very excited to finally wait for the opportunity to manipulate the market I prepared a little, and then moved to the company after the boss first called our three traders together in a meeting, the companys rules and regulations and wages and we said a little, the operating model: only the same day intra-day trading, risk control within 10%, after a loss of more than 10% at any time Terminate the contract, the monthly basic salary of 800 yuan, and then according to the winnings or how much commission to do commission! Probationary period, each operating capital of 100,000 I heard that the operating capital of only 100,000, the heart cooled a lot, and the treatment is too low, but considering the commission of the winnings, I did not say anything! The three of us together, and the company signed a cooperation agreement so that I began the work of the trader April 1, we three trader officially began to operate, because the amount of capital manipulation is relatively small, and is a day trading can not stay overnight positions, so the operation is very awkward, on the one hand, the request to make the commission, on the other hand, there is a 10% risk control if only open 30% of the position, the daily commission is very Low, if heavy trading, it is difficult to control the risk of 10% which is a contradiction in itself! In the contradictory psychological state of operation, more like walking on thin ice in view of the above, I opened a position generally in about 40-60%, and I operate with another person more cautious, only open 20%-30% of the position, and another man is more careful, up three days almost did not do much, and later this man was also specifically sought by the boss to talk in order to facilitate the work, I was in In order to facilitate the work, I found a place to live not far from the unit, 450 yuan rent every day I ate a meal on foot to the company, on the one hand, exercise, on the other hand, also familiar with the surrounding environment My operation is basically based on corn, on the one hand, the magnitude of fluctuations in corn is relatively small, on the other hand, only the operation of corn to make a commission In addition, occasionally operate a little bit of gum but several times the gum At the beginning of April 06, the gum was around 20000 points, I chose a short term strategy of more gum, but the gum oscillation was very strong, sometimes up well, suddenly diving, I usually choose to open a position of about 6 hands, but a normal change of 100 to 200 points in the plate, it can make my capital loss of about 10,000 yuan, also reached the The bottom line of risk control after a few days of operation, I have lost close to 7,000, my psychological pressure is great, the heart is more nervous this state makes me feel a little suffocated other two and I operate with the trader and my situation is similar, the operation is also not very good! The capital shrinkage also quickly more than half a month has passed, my account capital always hovered around 90,000 to 950,000 I used to operate their own accounts, daily losses and earnings of 10% are normal, but here but not, feel as if their hands and feet are tied as later, the three of us jointly proposed to the boss to engage in a little overnight position or do a little mid-line boss did not agree and the boss did not continue to increase account funds. I was very dissatisfied with this mode of operation, so my shots are getting heavier and heavier, and finally one day, a small mistake, my account fell below 90,000 yuan, I feel very frustrated because I have reached the bottom line of risk control of losses, according to the contract requirements, I can be dismissed after the close, I found the boss to talk about it, and offered to resign the boss Hesitated, she did not seem to have considered the issue, she asked me a: you still have confidence to earn back the lost funds? I did not answer her positively, I just told her that I used to make 10% loss every day are very normal, and I asked her if this mode of operation can change a little she said: the mode of operation can not change, but I can give you another chance! I was very conflicted back to their own computer, I feel very ashamed because I was recommended by the futures company, the results of the operation of the results are not good, I feel very sorry for the friend who recommended me to come after a period of time, I have been in conflict, the plate under the single is also very depressed, in this state, I soon lost a few thousand dollars again I really can not stay up, April 25, the day I proposed to the boss I resigned from my job as a trader so quickly ended the ninth part of the death and resurrection of the failure of the operation completely destroyed my confidence in futures I carefully analyzed my entire process of manipulation and the rules of manipulation, failure is normal, but not failure is not normal, because the rules of the game has gone against the laws of the market, against the unspoken rules of futures! I carefully thought back on my entire operating experience since I entered the futures, full positions, frequent trading, chasing up and down, leaving overnight positions and other operating taboos for me to have, how can I not fail? I used to devote myself to researching and analyzing the market, then evolved into tracking the market, and later focused on mindset research and strategy research, but still failed! I reluctantly accepted the fact that I had been eliminated from the futures market, and my last opportunity had slipped away from me. I told my wife about my resignation, and she acted calmly and said to me: "Dont be anxious, or do your old job, you are studying engineering, you have a skill, you can mix your food anywhere! Success in the futures is too difficult what do you plan to do next? I didnt answer her, whats my next step? Is it to leave the futures or to continue the struggle? I was thinking about this myself! In fact, sometimes leaving futures for a while is not necessarily a good thing! In order to survive, I asked a friend to find a job in an engineering investment consulting company, 5,000 yuan a month to do this job, I could not be quiet, just ask, how many futures are willing to take the initiative to leave the futures market? But insist to have the capital to insist, after all, I still have a home, and wife and children, I must take this responsibility! Later, with the help of relatives, friends and classmates, I owed the money outside to pay back almost slowly, my mind has been away from the futures, I often think about the past experience alone, what led to my failure in the futures? What is it about futures? I used to think I understood futures very well, but now I cant see it! Futures is a very amazing thing, it can expose your human weaknesses in front of it clean, as long as you mess with it, then you will lose the direction can not extricate themselves! People in the futures for a long time, are gradually becoming irrational, blind confidence, conceited, excessive bravado and pompous, is the common nature of futures people! After more than half a year, my mind has gradually calmed down, there is no more ambition to do futures, slowly, following the rules, I have regained the mentality of a normal person now look back at those so-called futures people, is repeating my old path, and they themselves are oblivious! They may not be as lucky as I am now, I have the best wife in the world who has been silently supporting me, silently loving me, even in my most difficult time did not leave me and they may not be as lucky as I am, I am still engaged in a job that looks very good in the eyes of others, with an income of about 70,000 a year they may not be as lucky as I am, I climbed out of the well dug grave in time, and came back from the dead! I crawled out of a well dug grave in time and came back from the dead! When you originally left the futures, you will see the futures more clearly, when you give up on it, but it can bring you unexpected gains last year to this year, I only did two transactions, and these two transactions, but brought me close to 130% of the winnings my operating philosophy also underwent a fundamental transformation to now, my autobiography is nearing the end may have friends will ask, in the end, the futures of the What are the unspoken rules of futures? This question, in fact, I have already answered for you, it is in the whole process of my experience!